Monday, May 11, 2009

Mother's Day

This day was dreaded for a long time. I didn't want to think about it at all. But, my little girls were so sweet and made my day bearable.

The first thing I heard when I woke up was Maddie cryin' in the living room. She was saying "DaDa DaDa" I told Maddie to come in my room and asked her why she was cryin'. She said "I just need to tell Daddy something." I explained that Daddy was at work and asked her what she needed. She said "I just can't tell you". She was so upset and I could tell she was really bothered by the confusion. I knew it must have been something about Mother's Day. She said "I just need you to go get KE Bug up". That's how she pronounces Cadie Bug... KE Bug :) So on my way to get Cadie, I have to pass Madeline's room. So as I walk by Madeline is standing in the door way with her feet and arms spread out saying "just don't look in here momma" with a huge grin on her face. So cute. Anyway- I get Cadie up, change her diaper and as I'm picking out her clothes, Madeline says "oh no momma- you can't get me dressed right now" and then she runs out of the room. She comes back and says "ok now you can come in my room but just DON'T look behind the door. So I get Maddie dressed and she says "Now you have to go sit on the couch in the livin room and close your eyes" Of course, I already know she's about to give me something, it's in a gift bag but I still HAVE to close my eyes! lol

As I sat on the couch waiting, I could hear their tiny voices filled with so much excitement... and it was for me, their 'momma'. So Maddie picked her favorite color bag and gave Cadie the other one and then they carried them.. well Maddie carried hers(behind her back) and Cadie let hers drag behind her. Maddie stuck it out with a big smile and said "Happy Mudders Day"! Shannon had got them 2 of my favorite movies and put them in those bags in her bottom drawer. He told her 'after Cadie gets up....' It was so sweet. So later, when Shannon got home Iwas writing in my journal about my first Mother's Day without my Abby. He gave me another movie and said 'this one is from Abby'. It was really thoughtful and sweet. I love that man.

My day was pretty lonely without Abby. I thought about her a lot. I mean, I think about her a lot anyway but this day was so sad. So I just wanted to be with her. I wanted to talk to her. I went and visited her grave and talked and cried. I just can't wait to be with her again. I love her and I miss her so much!

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Well I got it started...

I am happy to say I have started a blog.

Hopefully I will be making a lot of changes on here and adding some pictures and things pretty soon. I just needed to add my first post so I could kinda see how this whole thing is gonna work.

I really like to write and I am hoping this blog will be an outlet for me. I tend to keep things inside. Not too many people have ever seen me cry so when I write, I let it all out and it helps me cry and I feel better for a little while.

Abigail. I just can't explain her. She brought so much joy into my life! SO MUCH JOY! She was absolutely, without a doubt the sweetest, most kind-hearted child I have ever known. I am SO blessed having had her in my life. She changed me! She left footprints on my heart that will never fade. Abby Grace has gone home and now holds the hand of our Lord Jesus! She walks with Him and sits on His lap. He holds her in His arms and she is safe and she is happy. I can't wait until the day that I will get to see her beautiful face again. And I was taught that since Heaven knows no time, that as fast as she can turn around, I will be there. It will be as though we were never apart from one another. My dad, which is the greatest pa-pa in the world, recently showed me the song "Over the Rainbow" sang by the late Eva Cassidy on YouTube. This song is absolutely beautiful! Tonight, we were talking about how this song reminds us of Abby and I thought 'that will be the name of my blog'! It's perfect! Abby is somewhere over the rainbow and I can not wait to be there, where troubles melt like lemon drops and where dreams really do come true.